So Thanksgiving is right around the corner and I must say its a holiday I enjoy. In my family, the tradition was to gather at my aunts house for a holiday feast and spend time with each other. It was always a day I looked forward to because I was able to hang out with everyone in my family. Before 2007, I lived in Jersey while they lived here in NY so you can see why it was one of my favorite days of the year.
Of course, there was a turkey along with tons of delicious sides and veggies. My aunt is a great cook and has inspired me to love food as I grew up. The year I moved back to Long Island I helped prepare the food the night before which was fun. My grandma and cousins were there and we had good times. I am so thankful I filmed the events that year. Now we can all enjoy them forever.
Last year, it was slightly different. I had decided to go veg and turkey was not on my personal menu. Of course, I had no say about what was served for the big day because it was not my house. So the first time in my life Thanksgiving brought discomfort and disappointment. Besides my Grandmother not attending that year, my boyfriend Danny spent dinner with his parents. I honestly felt a little awkward. The holiday just wasn't the same.
When it was time to eat I sat next to my cousin Alex, a fellow vegetarian, and waited to serve myself some food. As the turkey was placed on the table a wave of sadness came over me. I didn't think it would have bothered me that much but it did. All I saw was a dead animal on the table and everyone carving away at it. I tried not to show my disgust and helped myself to vegetables and mashed potatoes. I couldn't even finish my plate.
As dinner came to an end I was happy to step away and help clean up. As I always do. I waited for Danny to arrive for desert and just chilled out. The night went well and we came home tired and ready for bed. Before I feel asleep I told myself I did not want to have another Thanksgiving were a turkey was served. It may sound ridiculous to you but if you felt the way I did, you would do the same.
So this year I decided to have my own Veggie Thanksgiving. Filled with lots of yummy veggies and Earth's goodies. I invited family and friends like always and was excited to host the holiday. Little did I know it would be a challenge to get people to come. As of now it will be my mother and her husband and Danny and I. Danny's parents aren't sure yet and the rest of my family have their own plans. A friend also declined because she just couldn't miss all the food at her parents house, especially the turkey. My enthusiasm slightly deteriorated as the holiday came closer.
Is this what a lot of vegetarians go through? I think its unfair but thats me. Just because I am not serving turkey shouldn't be a reason not to come. It seems like some people like Thanksgiving mostly for the food and not for all the family time. This is what I think is most important. Not a dead bird. I have been told, "no one is going to come without turkey" and "you shouldn't impose your beliefs on other people". I have even been told I was selfish for doing this which I feel is totally absurd. All this ridiculous behavior makes me think about when we should draw the line.
First of all, if I don't feel comfortable being around dead animals than I have a right to not be around them. Second of all, in my home meat is not served and that will not change just for a holiday. Serving turkey for the non-vegetarians is out of the question. Period. If someone doesn't like it than they don't have to come. Honestly, at this point, if it ended up being just Danny and I, we would both still be happy. As long as we are with each other, that is all that matters.
Starting my own tradition is important to me. Although that means a past tradition coming to an end, it is for the better. This is something that means a lot to me. My transition to becoming a vegetarian has been somewhat easy for me to do but when you don't have people around you who are, it gets hard to express yourself without people not seeing eye to eye. Somehow I always feel violated, unheard and not understood.
I am around non vegetarians all the time. I have to watch them eat food that upsets me but I have to keep my mouth shut. Although I do not respect or agree with how they choose to live, I keep my opinions to myself and deal with it. I know it is not my place to say anything. But is anyone doing the same for me? Is it so much to ask other people not to order meat when we are out to dinner? Are they going to suffer if they do? Just a thought.
I had a friend once tell me she would never order meat around me. I was really impressed. I look up to her for saying that and even thinking of me in that way. Talk about respecting someone and caring for how they feel. If only everyone was like that.
You know, some vegetarians and vegans don't mind being around it. My cousin even cooks meat for her roommates, something I could never and would never do. All I ask is for a little compassion and respect. That is something I give others and expect them to act the same.
So for this Thanksgiving I am staying true to myself. I will not compromise my beliefs for anyone. I will have a great holiday with the people who choose to spend it with me and serve healthy, delicious food. This year, I know in my heart, I am doing the right thing. Our day is not only a celebration of life and love but true compassion for the Earth and all its amazing creatures.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
